So this is totally a Blog therapy session. haha. So bear with me.
Blog: So, Miriam, what seems to be the problem?
Me: Oh I don't know. I just feel overwhelmed. Like I have too much to do and not enough time, money, or energy to do it all.
Blog: Hmm. How does that make you feel?
Me: Like a crazy person, hence why I am talking to you. But also totally inadequate. I see so many wife's and Mom's who have just as much on their plate, but who appear to have it all together. Who knows, maybe we are all feeling totally inadequate and just not talking about it.
Blog: Yeah its definitely not just you. You are not alone in this one.
Me: Thanks Blog. I am glad I am not the only crazy person.
Blog: Well, you are talking to me, which isn't exactly sane. But I am just glad to exist at all.
Me: hm. Sounds about right.
Blog: So what is making you feel inadequate?
Me: Well I start my day at 6:30. I wake up to a dirty house becuase I didn't have time to clean it the night before. Then I hurry to get ready and pay attention to Adney for a few minutes as he wakes up in the morning. Then I speed to work, but am still usually a few minutes late. Then work is mostly a blur. I get everything done that I need to there but it is definitely not a low stress kind of job. Then I go home at 5:30, usually closer to six because I almost always leave work late. Then I drive home to my messy house, with goals to clean it. But then I see my adorable little boy and my handsome husband who I haven't seen all day and my plans change. Spending time with them is more important than having clean dishes to eat on or clothes that are folded. So then he goes to bed at 8:00-8:30 and then I am so tired I don't want to do anything. But some days I go to the gym anyways, thinking that a little exercise would do me well. And it usually does. But then once again I come home to a messy house. There are so many things that I need to do that instead of facing it head on like I normally do in life, I just give up and go to bed. And I just spend each day with a very long list of overwhelming things that need to get done rattling in my head. I hate it.
Blog: wow you sound boring.
Me: Thanks Blog. But no really, what should I do differently?
Blog: You are doing everything you can. You are a typical Mom. You can't be expected to do everything yourself. It is just a phase in life. It won't last forever. Your husband will eventually have an education and a job and you won't have to work anymore and you can stay at home all day doing the things that need to get done.
Me: You are right Blog. Thanks for the perspective.
Blog: Meantime try not to go crazy and don't be so hard on yourself.
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11 comments:
I love how you did this blog! I'm sorry you're feeling overwhelemed with everything that needs to get done but if it makes you feel better, I feel the same way occasionally! I AM home all day and still don't get the house clean so I don't even know if that part of life will change. haha. Anyway, I hope things work out better for you!
we're both there!:) good luck mirm, it's temporary, remember that :)
dont worry there are a lot more of us out there that feel the same way. its not easy working, being a mom, wife and homemaker.
I am sorry you are feeling that way. But you are definetly not alone! I don't think there are many women out there that do feel like they have it all together! And you have your priorities right. Adney doesn't care if the house is messy, he wont remember that, he will remember you spending time with him. You can have a clean house when your kids are gone to college:) until then, just relax. you are doing a good job. I know that's easier said than done but try:)
These years wont last forever and believe it or not right now...your gonna miss it. I thought we would never be done being poor stressed out college students but I miss it. Your kids grow so fast and time just flies. Enjoy this crazy hectic time as much as you can!
Well Miriam you are bringing back many memories of my working and being a mommy days. I can really understand exactly how you feel! I just now feel like we have left our "JUST married and poor" stage (and we have been married for 7 years...)It will pass. Hang in there and don't expect too much of yourself. I would say don't stress the details. Like maybe Christmas Cards don't get sent this year. Mark things out that make your day TOO much. And one of the things that became my best friend when I was working was my crockpot. When I got home dinner was ready. Anyways I am sure everyone is giving advise that you already know. Way to go on the gym membership! You are awsome in so many ways! Love you!
Oh Miriam, I wish so badly I lived closer to you. When I hit one of those overwhelming time periods, I overheard an older lady talking to a younger one at Church one Sunday. The younger one was in a similiar position as you and the older came up to her after Church in the foyer, put her arm around her and said, "I just wanted to tell you that I think you are doing a wonderful job with your family. I remember being in your shoes and it has taken me until now to understand that in life there is a time and a season for everything. Right now your time needs to be spent on your family and getting through each day. Someday it will be your time to study your scriptures for an hour each day, make homemade meals each night, finish projects, and serve others. Heavenly Father knows that, and no one is expecting it all out of you right now, just over time when those seasons come." I knew she wasn't talking to me, but those words were exactly what I needed to hear that day. You do what you can now, and concentrate on what you know you need to, and you won't regret later that you made some memories with Adney over doing the dishes. Easy to say, hard to do, I know. It's o.k. to put off some of those less important things, because someday those will move up the list. Hang in there! I love you Miriam!
You are right! Don't be so hard on yourself! You sound like wonderwoman getting all that done! I hope you guys are doing well dealing with the chaos of life. We miss you so much!!
I love you! I feel for you! I can't say I understand, because I don't. I really hope that life does de-stress for you soon! I don't know how you are doing it! It is good for you to vent to your blog! Maybe you should call your friends and vent to them too! I always have an open line. Don't be too hard on yourself though...honestly you are already doing so much, you are right not to worry about a clean house right now. It will all pass. You are making the best decision to spend time with Adney and Kyle. I admire you for your strength and stability you bring to your family. After all, how would they ever do it without an amazing person like you holding everything together? Pat yourself on the back, give yourself some credit. You are doing great! Not many people can do what you are doing and still be sane. Just keep praying for help, and you will recieve it! I love you, let me know if there is anything you ever need. Seriously! Stop being so shy!
You are amazing!! We all feel like this at times. I only work one day a week and don't feel like cleaning my house so you have a great excuse!!
So glad the therapy worked out.
so funny :)
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